The holidays are a challenging time for single parents
Going through a divorce is never easy. The holidays can be a particularly challenging time of year, especially if you have children. Putting on a happy face for your little ones while trying to navigate the festivities independently yourself can be tough. However, it doesn’t have to be impossible. Advanced planning can help ensure a relaxing and enjoyable holiday season for your entire family. Katy Cares invites you to read on for a guide to a successful festive celebration after divorce.
Address practical issues related to your divorce before the holidays
Don’t wait to take care of the legal aspects of your divorce. Talk to a lawyer to work out a legally binding custody and visitation schedule as soon as possible. For example, you may be worried that a receiver will be appointed to oversee your property in the divorce. Drafting clear legal paperwork and being transparent about property and assets can prevent this.
In addition to addressing the legal aspects, make sure to think about the practical components of a holiday celebration after divorce. Kids in the Middle highlights key considerations, such as coordinating gift-giving. You want to make sure you and your ex don’t “double gift” your kids the same things and also ensure that you aren’t trying to out-gift one another. The holidays shouldn’t be used as an attempt to buy your little one’s love.
Plan ahead to create special holiday moments
Some of your former holiday traditions will likely fall by the wayside after divorce. Midlife Divorce Recovery recommends making new traditions to avoid a feeling of loss, for you and your kids. For example, say you used to always decorate the Christmas tree as a family. Switch things up by going to a Christmas tree farm to cut your own tree down for a special treat and then invite extended family over to help decorate.
Even with such efforts to make the festivities fun, kids may still have moments of sadness. It’s advisable to validate your children’s feelings. Don’t try to squash their negative emotions or make them feel guilty for feeling down. Affirm their feelings while remaining positive. You can say something like “I know you’re disappointed that we aren’t spending the holidays all together this year, but we are both still here for you and love you.”
Make sure to take time for yourself
If your kids spend the holidays with your ex, you may be alone for the festivities. Make an effort to enjoy this time and avoid loneliness. Look for ways to make the most of your solitude at home, from binge-watching your favorite shows to blasting your favorite music. If you want company, consider spending time with friends and family. Volunteering is another great way to fill the time while doing good and gaining a sense of personal fulfillment.
You can also use this opportunity to focus on your goals and dreams. For example, if you’re thinking of going back to school, start researching degree options. When looking into an online option for getting an advanced degree, here’s a good option that offers everything from a bachelor’s in education to degrees in business. Going this route can land you a coveted degree from an accredited institution in roughly four years. Such credentials will certainly expand your career options.
Even with careful preparation, you can’t rule out bad feelings or disagreements over the holiday season. Be prepared for potential disagreements and remain calm if they arise. By keeping your cool and following the tips above, you can still enjoy your holiday season
Katy Cares programs equip single-parent families with the necessary social, emotional and parental skill sets that can enable them to become emotionally resilient and socially independent. Reach out today to learn more! 832.517.1636
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